I'm going to take a quick break from detailing my habit building journey to talk about a recent experience I had in a hospital.
For a 27 year old I have spent a large amount of time in hospitals. Not for myself, but because of the people in my life. My best friend in college was hospitalized and later passed away after being in a car accident induced coma. My grandfather was hospitalized often and spent his final months in a hospice always holding on hope that he'd recover. My grandmother, probably exhausted from the loneliness of living without the love of her life, after many overnight hospital stays passed away almost exactly two years later after being bed ridden for her last few weeks.
This past week, during a very scary incident with my mother, I spent another couple days at the hospital. When she was discharged she was put on a very restricted diet for the next two weeks so that nothing she eats could interact with the effects of the multiple medications they put her on. And it really made me think.
Weight loss, for so many of us is a goal. Everyone wants to lose a few lbs, though there are the lucky few who are trying their whole lives to gain a few. I think that changes with age and a slowing metabolism. But maybe it's time to look at weight and see what it really means.
Thin isn't always healthy. My grandparents at their sickest were like skeletons. Their skin slack and sallow from the rapid weight loss that can only result in a slowly deteriorating body. It was heart breaking. When my best friend passed away and my grandfather became ill, instead of eating away my problems I developed an eating disorder. I wouldn't eat and if I did I would just end up throwing up again later. And though I probably looked great, I was purposely killing myself to numb the pain.
On the other hand, I think everyone can agree that being overweight is a telltale sign that something else is also going wrong. When my grandmother was sick I gained a lot of weight. Usually, when people see someone who is over weight they assume a number of things ranging from that person being lazy or having no self control. And though in some cases, I think that can be true, the reality is that depression, emotional anxiety, and stress are some of the main reasons that people gain so much weight.
A couple of my friends who are medically obese also have fathers that experienced life long cancer that they continue to fight. And though they realize they aren't in a healthy place, how does anyone balance the energy draining trauma that comes from the grief of a situation like that along with holding down a career and personal relationships? Something usually has to give and it's health and exercise. When faced with so many responsibilities to other people it's easy to push something that seems selfish like exercise aside. It's not hard to understand then why so many obese people are the nicest and most kind hearted people you'll ever meet.
The challenge, I think, for those of us who are overweight and facing overwhelming lives is to learn the following lessons:
1. Taking time to eat right and exercise is not inherently selfish. It should be part of a healthy daily routine like showering, brushing your teeth and getting some sleep. You just have to do it.
2. Weight can be very indicative of underlying emotional imbalances. If you're genuinely happy and balanced, you'll most likely be able to take the steps to get to a healthy target weight.
So where do you go from here?
I suppose you start building your habits. Or you can just watch me build mine.
Fat
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Protein
Alcohol