Disneyland the Most Caloric Place on Earth

You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be. -- David Viscott

What do skinny healthy people eat at Disneyland exactly? I have to wonder because if I'm going to look the way I want to look, I probably should start eating like I look that way right?

I think I'm going to pack 2 servings of carrots to munch on plus an orange. I'll have an orange before I go (I'm obsessed with these insanely delicious oranges from my fiance's dad's orange tree), and a cup of vegetable soup. 2 more servings of veggies... maybe a salad from Red Rockett's Pizza Port.

Here's what I think my day should look like:

Calories Eaten Today
grams cals %total Total: 1007 Fat: 23 207 22% Sat: 6 55 6% Poly: 4 36 4% Mono: 7 65 7% Carbs: 115 353 37% Fiber: 27 0 0% Protein: 98 394 41% Alcohol: 0 0 0%	Fat Carbs Protein Alcohol

Today's Foods
	Food Name	Servings	Serving Size	Cals	Fat	Carb	Prot
	Clam chowder, New England, prepared with milk		cup can (10.75 oz), prepared Quantity not specified	37	1	4	2
	Carrots, baby, raw		large medium	76	1	16	2
	Orange, raw		cup, sections oz yields large (3-1/16" dia) medium (2-5/8" dia) section or slice small (2-3/8" dia) Quantity not specified	123	0	31	2
	Egg, whole, fried		cup extra large jumbo large medium small Quantity not specified	91	7	1	6
	Thomas's 100 Calorie English Muffin		serving	200	2	48	8
	Mixed salad greens, raw		cup, shredded or chopped Quantity not specified	27	0	5	3
	Chicken, breast, with or without bone, roasted, skin not eaten		cup, cooked, diced oz, boneless, cooked (yield after sk... oz, boneless, cooked, skinless oz, boneless, raw (yield after cooki... oz, boneless, raw, without skin (yie... oz, with bone, cooked (yield after b... oz, with bone, cooked, without skin ... oz, with bone, raw (yield after cook... oz, with bone, raw, without skin (yi... cubic inch, boneless, cooked, skin r... breast quarter (yield after cooking,... medium slice (approx 2" x 1-1/2" x 1/4") thick slice (approx 2" x 1-1/2" x 3/8") thin slice (approx 2" x 1-1/2" x 1/8") large breast (yield after cooking, b... medium breast (yield after cooking, ... small breast (yield after cooking, b... Quantity not specified	367	8	0	69
	Beef jerky		cup, pieces cubic inch Big Jerk Super Jerk Giant Jerk Slim Jim Quantity not specified	39	2	1	3
	Cabbage Soup Diet		serving	47	1	9	3
Totals				1007	23	115	98

Community

There are times when I'm happy with how I look and in turn become complacent with what I eat. Sure, these times are usually after a really great workout session with Anthony, my personal trainer, but they're detrimental to my weight loss goals.

I believe the reason I haven't been as committed as I could be to reaching my goal weight is because I'm having a hard time facing the fact that I am in actuality overweight and as a result am putting a strain on my heart and general health. I realize that it's hard going it alone so I decided to join a community. Today I joined http://weight-loss.fitness.com.

I'm committed to the following:

1. Keeping a food diary. *edit: I'll just be keeping the information on my fitday.com account.

2. Sticking to my diet that includes the following items:
a. 100g of protein per day (Approximately 33g per meal or a 4 oz skinless chicken breast).
b. 25g of fiber per day ( Approximately 8g per meal or a Thomas's light english muffin).
c. 7 servings of fruits and vegetables (Approximately 2 servings of veggies per meal and a fruit snack or a salad before a meal and a fruit dessert after).
d. 2.2 liters of water per day.

3. At least 1 hour of exercise per day. Ideally a training run.

4. Posting daily on the weight loss forum.

Seal Beach 10K April 2008

I'm not the kind of girl who will just run for the sake of running. I have to be working towards a goal. Previously my goal was the LA Marathon. Life got in the way and I never ended up doing it. Instead I'm going to try to get the best time possible for a Seal Beach 10 K.

These were the results of the run last year (2007):
FEMALE AGE GROUP: 25 - 29
1 169 Fawn Wright 2947 27 LOS ANGELES 46:59
2 192 TAMMY CONROTTO 9442 25 LONG BEACH 47:37
3 214 Liz Arriola 97 27 HUNTINGTON BEACH 48:08
4 222 MEGAN ROWE 3360 27 48:19

It seems that the time to beat for a 6.2 mile race in my age division is a 7:35 minute mile. I think my fastest mile time in recent history has been a 8 minute mile.

My average mile for a distance run is around a 12 minute mile. I usually get lazy and do some walking which brings down my average time. I'm going to work on just consistently running then doing sprint days where I work on my speed. Wish me luck!

Hospitals

I'm going to take a quick break from detailing my habit building journey to talk about a recent experience I had in a hospital.

For a 27 year old I have spent a large amount of time in hospitals. Not for myself, but because of the people in my life. My best friend in college was hospitalized and later passed away after being in a car accident induced coma. My grandfather was hospitalized often and spent his final months in a hospice always holding on hope that he'd recover. My grandmother, probably exhausted from the loneliness of living without the love of her life, after many overnight hospital stays passed away almost exactly two years later after being bed ridden for her last few weeks.

This past week, during a very scary incident with my mother, I spent another couple days at the hospital. When she was discharged she was put on a very restricted diet for the next two weeks so that nothing she eats could interact with the effects of the multiple medications they put her on. And it really made me think.

Weight loss, for so many of us is a goal. Everyone wants to lose a few lbs, though there are the lucky few who are trying their whole lives to gain a few. I think that changes with age and a slowing metabolism. But maybe it's time to look at weight and see what it really means.

Thin isn't always healthy. My grandparents at their sickest were like skeletons. Their skin slack and sallow from the rapid weight loss that can only result in a slowly deteriorating body. It was heart breaking. When my best friend passed away and my grandfather became ill, instead of eating away my problems I developed an eating disorder. I wouldn't eat and if I did I would just end up throwing up again later. And though I probably looked great, I was purposely killing myself to numb the pain.

On the other hand, I think everyone can agree that being overweight is a telltale sign that something else is also going wrong. When my grandmother was sick I gained a lot of weight. Usually, when people see someone who is over weight they assume a number of things ranging from that person being lazy or having no self control. And though in some cases, I think that can be true, the reality is that depression, emotional anxiety, and stress are some of the main reasons that people gain so much weight.

A couple of my friends who are medically obese also have fathers that experienced life long cancer that they continue to fight. And though they realize they aren't in a healthy place, how does anyone balance the energy draining trauma that comes from the grief of a situation like that along with holding down a career and personal relationships? Something usually has to give and it's health and exercise. When faced with so many responsibilities to other people it's easy to push something that seems selfish like exercise aside. It's not hard to understand then why so many obese people are the nicest and most kind hearted people you'll ever meet.

The challenge, I think, for those of us who are overweight and facing overwhelming lives is to learn the following lessons:

1. Taking time to eat right and exercise is not inherently selfish. It should be part of a healthy daily routine like showering, brushing your teeth and getting some sleep. You just have to do it.

2. Weight can be very indicative of underlying emotional imbalances. If you're genuinely happy and balanced, you'll most likely be able to take the steps to get to a healthy target weight.

So where do you go from here?

I suppose you start building your habits. Or you can just watch me build mine.

Times Are a Changing

Commitment. Commitment. Commitment. Little habits, small changes, tiny steps. Water is easy. Finding time for 30 minutes of cardio, though should be easy since I can somehow find time for 30 minutes of Good Eats with Alton Brown a day, is challenging. I should do it in the morning before work, BUT, waking up in light of the freezing cold of the morning is so challenging. It probably wouldn't be so challenging if I got 8 hours of sleep before said freezing cold morning. So here's to Habit #2!

Habit 2: In bed by 10pm. No no, more specifically, in bed, TV and lights off by 10pm. Even if my night loving fiance isn't headed off to dream land with me.

Implementation: I suppose I should be back in my house by 9pm every night (good bye weekday nights out!) And I shouldn't eat after 8pm so that I won't be uncomfortable from laying down with food in my stomach.

Results Habits (1,2): The water really helped me feel satiated throughout the day despite the numerous times I had to run to the restroom. I know my bladder will get used to it. I am sick right now, however, so getting to bed by 10pm wasn't a problem with my friend Nyquil.

I did, however, end up having to turn down an invitation for dinner and drinks at a local pub. I should probably get used to it if I'm not going out after 9pm on weekdays. I feel like, sometimes, when I call it an early night and I don't go out until the weekends that I'm not living life to the fullest. Working for the weekends hardly seems like the kind of life I want to live.

I just have to keep in mind that I need to build these habits so that they are the general rule, not the exception. Then maybe I can make room for some exceptions.

Water is the Watchword

It's no secret that habits should start one at a time. So I'm going to be starting a habit a day for the next 7 days.

Habit 1: Drink at least 2.2 liters of water a day and at least one cup of green tea.

Implementation: Brew one cup of tea every morning. Fill a 1.5 liter bottle of water. Pour tea into a travel mug. Bring said travel mug and water bottle back everyday (lol, I'm bad at this). Drink .70 liters of total water during meals and before bed.

Results for Day 1: Clearly, a constant need to urinate. But, more energy. Does the energy increase makeup for the lack of productivity during bathroom breaks? I hope so.

My Trainer, My Punishment

I am fully aware that one of the reasons I seem to be only slowly dropping lbs is because of my bad eating habits and my unwillingness to commit to regular exercise. This is evident by the fact that I have a personal trainer that kicks my butt every time I actually show up to a session. He likes to punish me for all the times I was supposed to work out and didn't.

My trainer is pretty amazing though. He graduated from the marines second fittest in his company. He trained for a week to run a marathon and averaged a 7 minute mile. And he's a viscous liar.

He always claims it's the last rep but it's not. I don't need him to lie to me giving me a false hope that it's only one more painful sumo squat. Just give it to me straight. I have to suffer through a couple more.

So when my fiance and I went to our session on Sunday after missing two weeks straight, my trainer put us through boot camp. Yeah, it was as bad as it sounds. At the end, we were both nauseous and exhausted. I had to take a nap.

I capped off my workout with some MuscleMilk, which I have to tell you, is tauted as the new wonder protein. I woke up this morning refreshed and without pain. But when my trainer messaged me this morning to see how I was feeling, I decided not to tell him about the lack of pain. I really don't want him trying harder next time.

Young Thangs

Yesterday I headed out to Hermosa Beach with a bunch of my fiance's loud guy friends to celebrate some birthdays at Hennessey's and the Underground.

There were a couple of things I noticed as I was looking around this group of guys I've known for a few years now. First, they've all gotten better looking with age, whereas I have not. But the only reason I haven't gotten better looking is because of my weight gain. You know, I'd really like to be that girl that looks totally out of their league. The girl I was when we all first met.

Second, most of the women who party late into a Thursday night are hot little young things with who pretty hot bodies. Actually, scratch that, hot little things who don't necessarily need to be young. Maybe it's less women who party on Thursday nights and more just women who take care of themselves near the beach. I want to be one of the hottest women on the trip next time.

I guess it's natural to want to go back but I don't want to be one of those women who hangs onto the idea of her younger days and doesn't take the steps to be the best she can be today.

There was an article in some magazine I read years ago where women in their 40s felt they were more beautiful in their 40s than any other time in their lives. The pictures they shared actually proved they were looking their best. It was inspiring.

So here's to making 27 the fittest age of my life to date.

California is the Key

Being from southern California means more than living in sunshine, traipsing around with the stars, and having plastic surgery to augment those parts that seem less than perfect. No no, with great weather comes great responsibility. Like gym memberships and water bottles.

It occurs to me that I've been blogging for over 6 years, longer if you count the Asian Avenue days. When I started, it was refreshing. I mean, I had been journaling since I realized that there were thoughts and memories that could/should only be kept for myself. A public journal was like a Post Secret release on a daily basis. Inevitably though, nothing stays private and someone finds you and your innermost thoughts, that you meant to only share with perfect strangers over the internet, are stumbled upon by someone you know. Sometimes blogging becomes a show. It's written with the intent of entertainment instead of personal growth and reflection.

I bring this thought up because though I think the description of California written above is humorous, it's not what I really think. However, I am fully aware that other people, outside of the state, may see it that way. And why not? Despite the fact that I know better because I live here, I see it that way at moments too.

I mean, as a California resident I feel the need to adhere and surpass the physical expectations that the media puts forth. Being an empowered woman makes me feel the same way. Everyday when faced with someone with a better body than mine, whether in person or in the media, I think "I can do anything anyone else can do, so why don't I have that body?"

Thinking that way is both good and bad. I don't think anyone would disagree that believing you can do anything is a great characteristic, but the reality is that when you're striving for it and sometimes failing, it can be pretty defeating. Jessica Alba's body is a great goal, but really, I think she might be genetically engineered to look that good.

So how do people stop themselves from being defeated by falling short of their goals? Obviously there should be a healthy level of self disappointment when you fail to reach a personal goal (regardless of what those hippies teaching unjustifiable self esteem in elementary schools will tell you.) But how do you get disciplined and stay disciplined your whole life despite the occasional crushing setback?

I suppose my first step is to stop calling them crushing.

Alcohol, My Weakness No More

At my most fit I had given up alcohol. I also crawled under a rock and refused to leave my apartment for anything but work, the gym or a run in the park. It's a lot harder to live that lifestyle now. As my life and my friend's lives evolve from post college grads to dream achievers I have engagement parties and weddings, nights at the club to support blossoming DJ careers, Lakers games at the bar and liquor filled dinner parties on to attend.

My problem is that alcohol not only lowers my social inhibitions, it lowers my food inhibitions. Sure, on a normal day my self control can hold me back from that pastrami sandwich that beckons from the Hat but put a few vodka club sodas or gin & tonics in me and I'll eat anything that sounds remotely bad for me.

I feel that maintaining a healthy lifestyle has a lot to do with planning and control. In a sense, alcohol is the anti thesis of a healthy lifestyle, not counting the single glass of red wine that is supposed to be good for your heart.

Last night the fiance and I headed over to Joe's Sushi, one of my favorite sushi places. Not because of any exotic rolls or anything, in fact I dislike all that new fangled ginormous rolls they try to pawn off as sushi these days. Give me some salmon and uni sushi and a spicy tuna hand roll and I'm a happy girl. Anyway, Joe's is spectacular at the basics and for $24 the sushi chef in front of you will basically make you whatever you want, however much you want. Sure, some people would call that "all you can eat sushi," but that phrase brings to mind places like Todai and Hokkaido who have no business calling their rotten fish sushi in the first place.

That will be my last big meal for the next month. I'm attempting to shrink my stomach will 5-6 small meals consisting of no more than 200 calories at a time so that I can rev my metabolism all day. I actually only had an apple and one hard boiled egg all day in anticipation of the sushi gluttony at Joe's.

Here's my meal's damage:

2 pieces of salmon sushi - 120 calories
6 kumamoto oysters topped with roe - 57 calories
4 pieces of uni - 220 calories
1 alaska dynamite - 200 calories
4 pieces of a Philadelphia roll - 160 calories
4 pieces of a rainbow roll filled with spicy tuna - 210 calories
1 piece of unagi - 80 calories
2 side salads - 100 calories
1/3 a bottle of Kirin - 160 calories
Total last night of gluttony: 1307 calories

Looking back, the next time I go to have sushi I'm going to have a salad, 6 oysters and split a roll of spicy tuna with my honey. That'll put me at around 250 instead of that massive number. Portion control!

After the sushi we headed over to the bar to catch up with our newest couple friends K & K who were having dinner at a local pub. I have to pat myself on the back, despite the fact that the drinks were only $2.75 each, I only had a club soda on the rocks ;)

And the Lakers beat the Supersonics. Today was a good day.

The Yo Yo Diet

Losing weight seems like an easy enough task. Burn off 3500 calories and you lose a pound. The best way to intake calories is with high fiber, high nutrient or high protein sources that are low sugar and low fat. So why have I been up and down in my weight since I was 10?

After 27 years of life, which is obviously un peu overstatement since I can only remember the last 22 years of my life honestly, I've finally figured out my weight loss and weight gain cycles.

I'm a happy eater. Typically when I'm settled into a happy long term relationship I enjoy lavish meals out, cook delicious extravagant meals and post coital snacks. I think something about being in a relationship makes me stop depending on myself for healthy food choices and I start eating like a man, specifically the man that I'm dating, who is typically at least 6" taller than my 5'2" asian frame.

When I'm single I try to look my best. I don't know if it's all the free time on my hands, the ability to be selfish with my time or just the knowledge that in order for me to date the men I'm interested in I have to get to the peak of hotness, but when I'm single I can commit to waking up at 6am to go running, working out for 3 hours straight, eating a healthy vegetarian diet, etc.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't blame my current beau or my relationships for my change in attitude. I blame my complete lack of discipline and my gluttonous ways. I just don't know why they surface.

So what's with today's introspection? I'm engaged and I don't want to be little ms. muffintop for the rest of my life. I want to be the best woman I can be which includes the hottie within coming out permanently.

Today I commit to the first day of the rest of my life. The first step in the journey of a million miles to be who I want to be by the end of my life.