Food Relationships

Have you ever thought about your relationship with food? Personally, I grew up in a household where food was how mothers and grandmothers showed their love. Where multiple meals, multi course dinners and delicious specialty snacks were expected to be eaten with appreciation for the person who provided it all. Anything less than voracious consumption of these culinary creations was considered offensive to dear Mommy and PoPo (Cantonese for Maternal Grandmother.)

As I got older I was taught that food is part of the pleasures of living. My mom made sure that I tried everything that passed m plate, no matter how disgusting my adolescent palate thought it would be. The experience of trying it, tasting it, would prevent a lifetime of not knowing what I was missing, according to my mother.

And so I learned to travel the "world" through food. Understanding the intricacies of culture, geography, weather and history that led certain countries to develop certain cuisines. The heat of Indian and Thai food to create a sweat that would cool down it's people in the face of the heat and humidity that the lands are so well known for. The saltiness of food and pervasive use of preserved meats in Hawaii because of war impacts. Even now, as I travel difference places domestically I try to get in a taste of the local fare each city is known for to get a better understanding of it's locals.

But this food association with love and experience comes with an unfortunate result: food as joy and comfort. Eating as a way to quench the boredom of hotel living while traveling, or to connect with friends and family. My food relationship has resulted in 15 lbs of unhealthy weight and an additionally undesirable 15 lbs after that making this a love/hate relationship.

Because now I hate food, or certain foods, whatever diet I embark upon for whatever reason next. First it's meat because vegetarianism is the way to go. Then it's carbs because they prevent the efficient metabolism of fat. Then it's certain vegetables because of salmonella. And everyday becomes a thought about what I should and should not be eating. What I wan't to eat and can't have. How much I love what I can eat. How much I hate all the things I can or can't eat. The idea that I have to eat what I'm supposed to eat now so that I won't lose control with hunger that I'll eat something that I shouldn't eat later.

Enough. Here's a message to myself and food. I know I can never break up with you entirely but I think it's time we take a break so I can focus on my other priorities. I'm going to eat to live, not live to eat.